megay:

HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)

STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”

STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen

lotolle:

purplesmauge:

clarityandchaos:

earloffabulousness:

everybody stop what you’re doing, its a cat cleaning a baby

"Stupid furless humans can’t take care of their kitten, I have to do everything myself."

My favourite thing is baby sitting up thinking “What the fuck is that?”  Then seeing the cat, thinks “Very well, continue.”

Stupid furless humans.

lotolle:

purplesmauge:

clarityandchaos:

earloffabulousness:

everybody stop what you’re doing, its a cat cleaning a baby

"Stupid furless humans can’t take care of their kitten, I have to do everything myself."

My favourite thing is baby sitting up thinking “What the fuck is that?”  Then seeing the cat, thinks “Very well, continue.”

Stupid furless humans.